Grief and Growth

There’s a line in Tuesdays with Morrie (which I have not read) that says, “Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
It’s very true. I lost my father in May to cancer and it’s hard to deal with sometimes. You’ll probably experience it in your lifetime if you haven’t already, but it’s not something to be afraid of.
It can be a huge opportunity for growth and self-discovery. It mirrors lots of other experiences in life. Whenever you’re deeply hurt, you feel the need to withdraw and close up. Grief has taught me that the best response in those situations is always to open up. See what you can do for other people to make their lives better. When someone passes, or something bad happens, it usually doesn’t affect only you. There are people around you that need companionship and understanding too. It can be a great healing experience when you reach out and give people love and help them overcome what they’re going through. That connection sustains life and makes you feel a lot better.
Your first response might be to think about yourself, but the healing will come when you do things for others. Loving those around you and focusing on how to affect people you don’t even know in a positive way will always make you feel a thousand times better.
Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning (a book I recommend to EVERYONE) said people can get through any how with the right why. And this guy made it through Auschwitz, so he knows what he’s talking about.
There isn’t a period of time you have to “get over it.” That’s not how it works. Let yourself feel hurt, sad, angry, whatever, but make sure to surround yourself with people you can share with. Withdrawing after that kind of hurt can put you in a deep hole. Focus on giving people the love you want to receive. Make the world a better place. Make the world a little happier. Each day, work on something important to you—don’t lose your rituals! Run, draw, write, sing, ride your bike, read, etc. Whatever it is you do that makes you feel good, keep doing it because that will help you be more positive and be there for the people you love.

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